Saturday, January 29, 2011

Trying to create a healthy vessel for a baby

I will be able to do well for a while, but then I will face a day where my world seems to be crumbling, and all I want to do is eat chips and bean dip. And, then perhaps later eat hamburgers with friends after going to a wine.

For those of you paying attention to my blog, you know I am trying to lose between twenty and thirty pounds over the next six months. I have gone back on birth control, because I am taking Enbrel for my arthritis. It is a good drug. It has allowed me to move down on my prednisone.

I am going to try to do some research on healthy foods for conception. Here are some suggestions that I have read so far:

  • Citrus fruit - they have a high vitamin C content which has been shown to improve fertility levels
  • Sunflower seeds and nuts for the zinc content
  • Brown rice, oat, pulses and green vegetables for B vitamins. Vitamin B6 is particularly important as it helps to metabolise hormones like estrogen, which could assist you in getting pregnant. B6 is also good for pregnant women as it breaks down hormones that cause morning sickness, so having plenty of vitamin B6 in the diet can prevent or lessen morning sickness
  • Oily fish for omega 3, or if you are a vegetarian, linseed or flaxseeds on your breakfast cereal
  • Drink plenty of water and herb or fruit teas instead of coffee

Bastyr University which is the naturopathic university in the Seattle area has done studies on how zinc improves fertility. The one question I have is how important is it to take coffee out of your diet? I love coffee and am probably addicted....

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Husband's Desire to Adopt a Two Year Old

Last Friday night, my husband and I are out to dinner at the Keg. I foolishly decide to ask my husband, in his perfect world, what age of child would he like to adopt? After pausing and giving it some thought, he answers, "I want a two year old." He then proceeds to explain his feelings about babies, and how he feels he would bond better with a toddler. He listed the main reasons that anyone lists about the inconveniences of babies, lack of sleep, the inability to communicate with them, the 24-7 neediness they have, etc. My friend has explained to me the biological reasons for why my husband wants a two year old.

This doesn't change the deep seeded desire inside of me, that really wants a baby, and wants to pick out cribs, and baby clothes, and feed the baby, and bathe the baby, and I could go on. I don't think I can just turn this desire off. I am not sure how my husband is going to respond, when I tell him this. I think he knows there is a good chance this is going to be my response.

If my husband gets the promotion, he just interviewed for, we are going to start the adoption process while engaging in round two of fertility treatment in six months. I want a baby or child by the time I graduate from my masters in education program, or I want to be close to having one.

Why does everyone suggest surrogacy?

If I had a nickel for every time someone has suggested I get a surrogate, I would be a multimillionaire. What people don't understand is that my problem isn't with carrying a child! I can carry a child, from everything doctors have told me. I just can't seem to ovulate! I think people also don't understand that surrogacy is even more expensive than IVF. You have to pay for the surrogate to have health insurance and possibly be unemployed for a year! Here is an article that discusses some of the issues around surrogacy:

Besides the impractical aspects of surrogacy for middle class people, there is also the emotional issues around surrogacy! I can't wrap my head around the idea of another woman carrying my child. I guess you could ask me, "well in adoption another woman carried your child to term." To me that is different. I have the option of not knowing the birth mother personally, with adoption. With surrogacy, I would know the birth mother, and I would struggle with not being jealous and wanting to hate the surrogate mother. I get mad every time I hear some of my friends say that they hated having a baby, but are now happy that their child is a toddler. I also get mad when friends who have been able to have a child with ease, tell me I am not missing anything. That's like the married woman who tells the single woman, "Oh, you are so lucky, that you don't have an annoying husband like me!" When I was single, and married women would say annoying things like that to me, I would want to bitch slap them and then contemplate stealing their husbands. But, alas I digress. I imagine it is emotional challenging for women who have chosen the surrogacy option, and I send good thoughts to them in their endeavors. I have just decided for myself, that I do not have the emotional wiring to go through that process.