Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Why does everyone suggest surrogacy?

If I had a nickel for every time someone has suggested I get a surrogate, I would be a multimillionaire. What people don't understand is that my problem isn't with carrying a child! I can carry a child, from everything doctors have told me. I just can't seem to ovulate! I think people also don't understand that surrogacy is even more expensive than IVF. You have to pay for the surrogate to have health insurance and possibly be unemployed for a year! Here is an article that discusses some of the issues around surrogacy:


Besides the impractical aspects of surrogacy for middle class people, there is also the emotional issues around surrogacy! I can't wrap my head around the idea of another woman carrying my child. I guess you could ask me, "well in adoption another woman carried your child to term." To me that is different. I have the option of not knowing the birth mother personally, with adoption. With surrogacy, I would know the birth mother, and I would struggle with not being jealous and wanting to hate the surrogate mother. I get mad every time I hear some of my friends say that they hated having a baby, but are now happy that their child is a toddler. I also get mad when friends who have been able to have a child with ease, tell me I am not missing anything. That's like the married woman who tells the single woman, "Oh, you are so lucky, that you don't have an annoying husband like me!" When I was single, and married women would say annoying things like that to me, I would want to bitch slap them and then contemplate stealing their husbands. But, alas I digress. I imagine it is emotional challenging for women who have chosen the surrogacy option, and I send good thoughts to them in their endeavors. I have just decided for myself, that I do not have the emotional wiring to go through that process.


  1. Good thing I didn't volunteer then.

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